I told you not to ask
So if you ask and find the answer upsetting, that's on you
I warned you. I warned you about all of this.

What did you mean about what would happen if I took it off the table?
I don't know if I'm ready.
I'm angry

What if you feel ethically obligated to ask, even if you'll find the answer personally upsetting?
Then it is wrong of me. ****.

I want to want to agree to it.
Why do you want that so much?
(I think I know why.)
You'd feel safer talking about things when you know they aren't going to end with me doing that. I really want to be able to give you that. But I need an outlet. I need it for penance. I can't sit with the guilt and shame.