If I agree to this I need to know that you understand and are comfortable dealing with the transference.
And I need you to be able to say the word, because I can't. It's been a long time since you've actually said it. I need you to not be afraid of or uncomfortable with the word. I need you to make it clear that you really do understand the order of magnitude we're talking about.
As much as you point out that the behavior hasn't worked so far to get rid of the feelings that I want to get rid of, it does keep them somewhat in check. I don't know how to just sit with those feelings past a certain point.
If I take the behavior off the table then I don't have the outlet.
I'm not asking you to be okay with any and all possible behaviors, but I need you to be okay with my emotions and feelings and wants. I need to know that this isn't going to be a surprise to you. That you're not vastly underestimating the intensity of what I mean when we do talk about it.

Edit: is that what you meant by your "we can talk about anything you want" stuff? It sounded almost like you were bargaining or like trying to say anything that would work. "Desperate" is too strong a word. Imploring?
I thought at the time that you meant the stuff that makes you pause. Giving me the attention without the behavior.
The needing to be able to talk about anything stuff came up the last time we talked about taking it off the table. But I doubt you remember that, and it was a really long time ago. You're not usually good at remembering that kind of thing.
So what did you mean? It was pretty clear you weren't just randomly saying that.