I've expressed lots of worry about him "getting sick of me" and suddenly changing the rules. One of the things my therapist says is that he adjusts based on a client's need. And he is a long-term, trauma therapist so he knows "how this goes." We are at almost 5 years and he has made only one change in how we connect. It wasn't a shift in boundaries or tightening down, he had other things going on in his personal life, so his schedule for appointment changed.

We talk a lot about how quickly (or not) I'm working through lots of past trauma and gaining trust. There are times that I really need more contact or ways to feel connected. And there are times when I need less of this. I'm fairly sure I shift more what I allow him to give me than he allows me to ask for.

I remember saying to him once, "Do you know how important you are? Do you know how much power you have to hurt me?" And he leaned forward and thought for a minute and said, "yes. Which is why I take our relationship and all the feelings in this room very, very seriously."