"I'm so sorry I forgot you, let me catch you up to speed. I've been tested like the ends of a weathered flag that's by the sea. Can you build my house with pieces? I'm just a chemical...." ('Chlorine')

I've been away for a minute and have been seeking no counsel in the absence of coming here. It hasn't done me very good. I'm slipping deeper than I've been in a while. My dog hardly leaves my side, I think she's worried. She only does this when she gets worried. These things are in my head, their hooks firmly attached to my brain, pulling it every which way it so chooses. I'm not sure what 'it' is. At times I'm hopeless beyond reason and have accepted my fate. Other times, I'm simply anxious but not so simply rational and paranoia sets in.

"I am not as fine as I seem!" ('Migraine') Hallucinations have been seemingly nonstop for two days now. Sometimes they're running rampant, other times they're as subtle as the roach that just slipped under the cable -- I barely noticed it in time to register. It's gotten to that point, though; that point where I'm not sure if the roach was real or not. Just like I'm not sure if my arm has been replaced with a robotic one. Don't get me wrong, I understand it all sounds so absurd, but I can't help but get confused sometimes. I may be calling it too early, but I'm starting to think that I am falling into another one of my episodes no one seems to understand.



I'm not understanding what's happening. Someone, please help me understand.