I havent read your session post yet, but when you say its his boundary, where is his boundary, it reminds me of catholic school and us kids asking the nuns, "how about THIS? Does THIS cross the line?" We werent being disrespectful, we just got fascinated with the idea of there being a line.
Some years ago, when i found out i could get an annulment thru the catholic church, i wasnt motivated to do so. I was like, "i really dont think the only thing keeping me out of heaven is gonna be the paperwork...".
Maybe its not OCD, but you seem to hung up on the "paperwork". What IS that? Whats the golden ticket you seek?