I experience some personal discomfort when I read your posts. I feel disconcerted that the therapeutic intensity appears to be all on your shoulders. You seem to consistently raise difficult and painful relational issues (including some ideas about their intrapsychic origin or the relevance of psychodynamic interpretations) whilst your therapist shrugs or fudges or encourages a surface interpretation. It's interesting that you describe two imagined feelings which he has about you - he is critical or he is fascinated. These are polar responses and relatively extreme reactions for a therapist to have. What if he isn't either of those things? I have a sense that he isn't engaged in the same kind of therapeutic conservations as you are.