I'm stressed out over what all needs to get done over the next week or so and getting overwhelmed by all the disappointments and good things (that I don't really have anyone to share with). It's just so much up and down emotionally.

And I feel the need to impress people and that ends up making more work for myself.

And someone important to me disappointed me. I'm sure there's a valid reason, but I wish she'd tell me. Otherwise, it must be me.

I'm missing a deep connection in my life. Friends/acquaintances cannot possibly fill it at this age. I think this loneliness may be slowly killing me. Other people don't seem to need this or understand, not even here. I guess there's something wrong with me. There is a need to nurture and love and it's devastating when it's taken away from me. Whether it's a breakup or a change in job/volunteering (I've been an assistant both paid and unpaid in education and once I've worked with a group of students for a year give or take, it's devastating to know I may not get to work with them again next year). I kind of have to wonder if I should have had my own kids. I may not get a chance to.

I just feel down overall...even the occasional good thing only makes me happy momentarily.