Just from reading through your posts here about your conversations with T re: "appropriate" reasons for calling I would think the safest or most appropriate thing to do would be just to have a no-phone call policy. Why? Because angsting about whether or not you are in "enough" crisis to warrant calling him or not is going to add SO much more to whatever crisis you could ever be experiencing that it is likely going to be far more dangerous to allow calls in "crisis" situations. If you had a blanket-rule about no phone calls to T you would have far more internal resources available to devote to actually implementing self-care strategies. Having all this extra contact with T is your go-to. You don't have to figure out things for yourself. You don't have to find a way to tolerate unpleasant emotions yourself. Your need for contact may even actually generate crises in order to warrant it. So much of your time and emotional energy goes into internally debating about whether or not to contact, whether or not to email. I don't think that escalating this to calling on the phone will help you at all.