Quote:
Originally Posted by StreetcarBlanche
I think my problem is that some red flags are hard to decipher as being red flags; or they're minor vs. major red flags.
I agree with you both, that our emotional mind tends to ignore the rational mind. Trying to meld those two together, to get to a "wise mind" to use DBT lingo, is the key. But wow, is that hard to do.
|
I actually had my therapist help me to determine flags as I was experiencing them while I was dating. I told her point blank: please help me to learn how to identify toxic people better so that I don't get involved with them. So as I dated, we talked about the different situations that popped up, and she would help me to identify each flag as they came up: that's yellow, that's red. That's something to continue to observe and see if it's a pattern, etc.
It definitely takes being very aware of what's happening as it's happening, stepping back and observing while getting to know someone.