Exactly. It comes down to the sagging sense of self-worth that I have. Right now there is a correlation between my increasing weight and decreasing self-esteem. I feel rather ugly right now and terribly concerned about what people think. I don't just think I am unworthy but I think others think I am unworthy. What then will they think of the good things that happen to me? I convince myself that they think I am undeserving too.