I am 24.

For the past six or seven months I have been getting wasted to the point of blacking out and being surprised that I even woke up the next morning. Last night I had two bottles (not large bottles, but I am not sure how much) of Barton's vodka while talking to a friend over webcam.

I drink every other day. I can't seem to go more than a day sober. I get wasted maybe one-three times a week.

I am a very socially anxious person. I drink for every social encounter, no matter how small, unless it's school.

I will say that I am seeing a doctor and not seeking medical advice here, but I want to express that I am terrified of dying this way and terrified that I've done permanent damage to my body.

I have stomach ulcers and am on medication for that. But I haven't stopped drinking.

I am scared to death. I am scared OF death.

Please offer me any support or advice you're willing to give me. I really need some support, someone that relates. I am panicky this morning and I have no desire to drink now, but I know that tonight I will because the cravings will come.

They always do.