I know when I saw ex T 1 I was so enmeshed that I would want her to take my calls, she was on my list but I would only half heartedly do the other things so I would get to what I wanted which was the call. She was also very ambiguous about whether calls were ok. Over time she would not answer and I became more anxious, it was awful.

Current T and I have discussed it and come to the agreement of no calls. I will sometimes text during office hours to see if she has time for a 5 min call, which I pay for. I have done that about 3 times in 2 1/2 years. If I call she never ever picks up and I like it that way. There is no ambiguity and so no fixation or anxiety on my part. No wondering if she "cares enough" and will pick up. I hope your T can be very clear. I get the sense for the most part he is not ok with calls (from what you say) but doesn't want to cut off something that may be a lifeline.