Appreciate the replies, y'all ... Just knowing there are people that hear and care means a lot to me!

I am feeling right sorry for myself right now and that toxic inner-critic (female parental unit / primary abuser) is having a heyday with it by telling me what an ungrateful whelp I am!

It seems that no matter how hard I try to erase those old messages they still pop up when needed least!

I hate that EFFING B and all she did to wreck and torment a defenseless kid!