And, since so many people promote and uphold that platitude of "forgive and forget," then when you have people like me who don't see it as a healthy way to maintain boundaries with people who've wronged you, they attack you as being immoral or unethical when that's not a fair assessment. I don't believe in the concept of "forgive and forget" and have not found it helpful or useful. I hold people accountable for their behavior with me. And, obviously, they don't like that. Well, gee sorry but if you wrong me and I react with anger, then don't wrong me to start with. I think "forgive and forget" also promotes a sense of self-entitlement to the forgiver, as though they are the better person or martyr b/c they let their abuser off the hook. I REALLY don't understand how letting your abuser off the hook makes you the bigger person morally or ethically. I certainly don't think it does. I think it makes you someone who has weak boundaries. But that's just my opinion, which is not a very popular one I've learned over the years.