Having deep thoughts. Some good some bad. I've been on a pretty stretch of stability. Other than one oops this week (took my seroquel by mistake in the morning) I'm doing good on my titration back up on my lamictal. This combo has been a big game changer for me and I know I need to just stay on track. Life issues are a struggle right now. I've not hid my drinking and gambling ever and right now both are a battle. I know that these addictions cant be controlled by meds. I have a husband who has stuck by my side through the really, really dark days. He's a good man and I've put him through hell. But. ..he will always be a drinker and I once had a dr tell me that as long as I keep drinking I'll never get better. Maybe he's right, maybe he's wrong, but right now I think he's right and the person who has stuck by me in all those bad times might be a bad bad (toxic) trigger for me. I'm really not trying to put all the responsibility on him. I'm not...just thinking and really unhappy and so is he. Not being very nice, just not himself..maybe he has finally had all he can take. Idk...maybe I need to start therapy again. Sorry for the long post.

Hugs to all [emoji173]