Focus less on him and more on you. You put far too much importance on this most toxic man. Why place so much importance and value on what he says or does? He’s toxic. Toxic people behave irrationally. Do you see that? You have placed this man’s worth and importance above your own feelings and self worth. Why is he more important and valuable than you? He doesn’t deserve to be on a pedestal. Take him down. He’s not worthy! You need to work on building your self esteem and on valuing yourself far more than you do. He’s an a-hole! Of course he’s going to behave like one and treat you like dirt, as he has proven himself to do. Again and again.