I want to cry.

This morning, around 4:30am, I was hearing laughter. The voices were laughing at me. They didn’t say anything to me, but they were laughing amongst themselves, mumbling different things to each other that I couldn’t make out. I was scared and still am.

I normally wake up at 4am, so I was already awake and it’s not like they woke me up. Also, I’m at my parents’ house for the weekend and nobody was awake at 4:30am. I think the voices were a hallucination. But it was an evil laughter.

I don’t want a different AP because of side effects. I also can’t try a typical AP like haldol because typicals are banned at my pdoc’s office. Yet I am depressed and keep hearing things, symptoms of which are supposed to be “controlled” by rexulti. Rexulti is only helping with paranoia it seems. Ugh.