Kv,

You sound like a perfectly decent parent to me. I actually sat here jealous of your younger son when you first wrote about him and now. To be that carefree, that adventurous is something that most people only dream about. Sure, he may get himself into trouble, but that goes for any of us. You said that you think one day his luck will run out. Not necessarily! Now, I don't know your son, but haven't you ever known people who "bad fortune" that just seemed to follow them around like a black cloud hanging over their heads, and then others who have their share of misfortunes but somehow come out of it, every time, smelling like a rose? No big deal to them?

Understand that I'm not advocating irresponsibility, but it seems that right now your son has no responsibilities other than to himself (no wife, no kids, no mortgage to pay?) I'm also not talking about psycho-babble crap like, "personal responsibility", and there is nothing inherantly "wrong" with him for wanting to live the way he does even if its for a few years. I assume he is healthy physically and mentally, therefore you should not be responsible for supporting him financially....no way! Does he expect you to?

I've had anxiety problems since I was 11 years old. This lead to depression and self-loathing. I have never had luck with men...BIG black cloud!!!! So never had the support that a husband (hopefully) or even a caring boyfriend could have given me. However, I have also been on my own, made a life for myself supported myself and worked hard at, and been successful at being a responsible adult. What I was trying to get across, is that when, due to circumstances that threaten to swallow us up alive, if we need a hand, it's nice to know that it is there. The past 2 years with what I thought was purely a "mental" problem have been exceptionally difficult or me. Turns out a physical problem went undiagnosed (by 2 GP's and a psychiatrist) for the past year and a half, causing physical and emotional hell. Hopefully, within 6 months or so I'll be well enough, I can't tell you how I cry about it, I want my life back! This is exactly what I told the new endocrinologist when I saw him last month for the first time. While it's been miserable, I can't imagine what I would have done if my parents had not been here during this time. That's why I said I was "lucky." Your son seems lucky too. Maybe you, in raising him, helped foster his self-esteem, his love of adventure and courage (I think what he's doing is pretty courageous!) Sounds like you did something right, to me.

Pebs

<font color=purple> The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated--Gandhi

Sometimes I lie awake at night in bed and I ask, "Is it all worth it?" And then a voice says, "Who are you talking to?" And another voice says, "You mean, ' To whom are you talking?'" And I say, "No wonder I lie awake at night."--Charlie Brown </font color=purple>