i am extremely pissed off.
i dont know what i did or anything, but it must be my fault.
my ex was shouting at me today in assembaly, i dont even remem ber whgat we were arguing about. but he was scaring me he was sounding so threatning..
after the asssembalyl i just went to hide in my corner, and he demanded i get up, idk i duunno why we were arguing i got so confused..
but yeah..
i was satin my corner and he ordered me to stand up and i was scared i thought he was gonna hit me there was noone else around. so i stood up and he just tried to hug me and i let him cuz he was sooo pissed off.
i dont know what i did. i must be a *****. idk idk idk.
he wont leave me alone. ii just want him out of my life, i just want him gone. but he wont leave me. never.
now i have to sit next to him all the way to berlin on a plane, cuz my friends thought we were always getting on as happy as a clam (only cuz i didnt want him mad and to hit me) and they said thats how the seats were arranged. i just hope he doesnt try to hurt me.
how much is it to ask that he just leave me alone. wait thats why we were arguing. he told me i was selfish for not wanting to be with him, and not telling him i didnt wanna be with him. cuz i just let him hug me when he asks, so he dont get upset, i just let him do anything. i hate it but i have to or he might hurt me. besides, its not my choice what he does to me. im just sick and i dont wanna hurt myself again. not again.
ive been in such a hostile mood all day too. dunno why.
meh.. i just want this to end its rediculous.
dot