I don’t have a problem with eye contact in therapy, for the most part anyway. Sometimes I feel a little awkward depending on my mood or what we’re talking about, and then eye contact can feel strange, but for the most part that’s not the case. We occasionally have moments of silence when I become aware that we’re not talking and then I’ll look at him and I’m relieved that he’s not looking at me. But once in a while (not frequently) when I look at him he looks directly at me and doesn’t look away like one would normally do in a typical social situation. Even when I look away and then look back, he’s still looking. It’s weird and intense, but not necessarily bad and it only lasts for a few seconds although it feels longer. I’ve been trying to figure out how to describe this experience and I found this description in a book I recently finished (about someone seeing a therapist) that I thought was close to perfect:

“His eyes are like magnets, and every time I glance away, they seem to find me. His expression is intense but gentle, a combination of a wise elder and a stuffed animal, and it comes with a message: in this room, I’m going to see you, and you’ll try to hide, but I’ll still see you, and it’s going to be ok.”

I wouldn’t describe my T as a wiser elder/stuffed animal exactly, but the message that comes with his look seems accurate and weirdly comforting while feeling awkward at the same time. I wonder if they practice “the look.” Anyone else get this look?