Love the quote.

It was Kohut who said we develop a positive sense of Self from our Mother's reflecting back her pleasure at us when she looks in the our eyes.

I was never 'seen' by my mother because she reflected back her projections of me, her resentment of me. Her dread of having another child she didn't want. In therapy, someone who is interested in me and who could see me for who I am, rather than through transference and projections, has been a positive experience.