Why is it when I am depressed it doesn't matter where I go or who I go to - it seems there are rules or expectations or boundaries or etc .. that say I cannot express everything I am thinking or feeling? Where can I go when I cant go to friends, family, places like these, and can't find a counselor that takes my insurance? How do I get myself heard? Do I just stay muted? Am I expected to let it fester? How then will it get better? I don't know anymore .. I just don't.