I write a lot also. But things that used to soothe me - like writing poetry or on here - just don't seem to anymore. Counselors (if they listen) can help - but I am having difficulty with my insurance. My family (except my sister) has drifted from me and my sister speaks to me via FaceBook. The friends I had seem to think I need to shut up and/or go away - even if they ask me for help. So .. I'm just really depressed and need to truly vent all my thoughts n feelings. Not just "the acceptable" ones. Yet - I can't. So, it festers, and gets worse. One day the floodgates will burst - and it never needed to go that far. I have been trying from the start of the reemergence of my depression to stop it from getting that far. It seems ppl just want to see me fail..