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Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel
I'm really afraid L is going to abandon me. I forgot until tonight that she mentioned that we should look for other supports. I'm so mad at myself that I trusted her. I know the financial problems are mine and not her, but looking back, it didn't seem like she was willing to come to any compromises unless I see her minimum every other week. I get it...if I only see her once a month, she'll have a hard time saving my time slot. She is running a business and needs to fill her time. And if she is willing to do a tab, she isn't willing to do it for long. I just feel so depressed. I apologize I didn't process this sooner. I guess all the stress has distracted me. I hate life right now. There just so much going on! And I'm truly afraid I'm going to lose L.
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Can you ask her about these fears? Her saying you should look for other supports doesn't mean she's planning to abandon you. My T has also said I need to find other supports--I think it's a common thing for T's to do. They want us to have the ability to manage on our own or at least when they're not available. I understand your fears because I had a similar reaction when T was talking about finding other forms of support and methods of coping. He does consider PC to be one of those supports (and thinks of it as a support group), so I think this is one of them for you as well.
But I think you should talk about your fears with L. Is it possible to see her this week? I know you said your H made you cancel your appointment, but it sounds like you could really use the help right now, if it's possible for her to let you carry a balance. If you've sold your house (hope that offer goes through!), then you'll have more money in the future. Or could you do a half session?