You say "I'm not sure what a good moment looks like anymore. That means that at some point you did know - meaning at some point you had at least one good moment. It may have been a long time - but you do know, you just gave up on it happening again. Question is: what if it does? Don't you want to experience it? See - I went 30 years just to have a moment without depression. That lasted 2yr and now here I am again. I still never had a moment that took my breath away. But - what if I did?

See .. that's the thought.

As far as being "normal" - it has been my thought for a long time that there is no normal .. we all have "issues" and those who can't admit it are the worst among us. So don't try so hard to "fit in" - be yourself. The only way you need to fit in is so you can function to survive financially, health wise (physical, mental, emotional), and to not harm yourself or others. So .. you do what you need to do to make yourself comfortable enough with who you are to satisfy those things .. and you got it made. ❤

I know what it is to be dead inside .. it's how I have been and why I came back .. but it's not a reason for us to give up hope. I admit though, I go through phases of that myself, I am fighting it with all I am worth trying to find a counselor bc I have nobody else to talk to n I know where this road leads me - been down it too many times .. n its not a place I wanna be again. Do you have a counselor?