It may not help much -- but I think I'm beginning to see and feel that that's THEIR fault. The therapists and the people in my early life. It does help that I have some people, and animals, in my life who don't seem to think/feel that I'm stupid and undeserving. But after years and years of family and therapists who continue that pattern -- it really, really sucks, and I'm very sorry that has happened to you, too.