I have a number of psychiatric issues, but there is one particular area that has been nagging me since my first decompensation in 2008.

I saw things while in psychosis. I also had a voice or two and one of them, Torquemada, is still with me. So-named because Torquemada was the leader of the Spanish Inquisition and was famous for his methods of torture.

This voice is extremely mean to me and maintains an almost constant dialog in my head. Sometimes a second voice will tell me to ignore Torquemada, but says nothing beyond that.

That being said, the most striking things I experienced were/are, of course, Torquemada, and seeing three-dimensional hallucinations from time to time.

I saw an ancient French village on my bedroom floor. It looked exactly like a hologram. While driving, I saw a blue beam of light coming from the right headlight on some of the cars around me.

During my first serious hospitalization, I passed the room of a fellow traveller and heat was blasting from it. Inhuman heat. This scared me because Torquemada constantly reiterates that I'm going to hell.

Quite often, other people seem to be possessed and speaking directly to me even though I don't know them.

I see messages in everything, especially numbers, and I spend a lot of time researching the etymology of many languages.

I also, from time to time, smell burning and wild roses.

There is an entire litany of experiences I've had with seeing and hearing and feeling things.

I would very much like to hear what other members have seen, heard, and felt during their experiences of psychosis, only if you wish to share.

I will be very respectful of you no matter what you've been through. I am a fellow traveller who's been trying to understand, for 12 years, what happened to me.

Be well.

Kraut

Bipolar 1 w/Psychotic Features +