I really really regret seeing my dad’s family again last November. They insulted and gas lighted me again, trying to make me blame my mom for the family problems while in fact they’re the rotten ones. For a few hours after meeting them I was in confusion thinking what if they were right. I’m so prone to manipulation, manipulation attracks me like flowers to bees. It’s so easy to manipulate me and some people did that to me for their own pleasure like I’m some kind of puppet. My symptoms went worse after I met them. Flashbacks everyday, at least the emotional one, I get irritable easily and I feel like I’m consumed by negativity. I lost myself. This negative person is not who I really am. Took me over than 10 years to heal from their abusive behavior why did I ruined that and meeting them again?! But hopefully this time the recovery won’t take that long as I’m more acknowledged in mental illness.