Alexandra, thank you for your words. You have expressed that which I find difficult to do. I too am grieving and sometimes it seems never ending. I lost a lot of big things in a short period of time. At times I really dont want to see what tomarrow looks like but somehow I hang in there and tomarrow is not so bad. Yesterday sucked, but that is another story

About a year has passed since all of the turmoil and, slowly, very slowly I am feeling better. When my mind wanders back to my marriage I think of the good things I miss about my companion, the hiking and fun we used to have. Then unfortuately, I remember the bad things that caused the divorce and the horror of the procedure and the greed and uglyness of the lawyers. Ick. Then I think, jeeze, I am lucky to have lived through everything.

I think grieving is a life long process and its intensity diminishes over time. I will always miss my mom and dad, but not so much as I did when they died. Except my Dad who died last year. Well, I am rambling. You sound like your handling it very well.

A couple of other notes. Our society does not know how to grieve or how to understand the grieving process. We are expected to get right back up and go to work the very next day with smiles on our face like nothing happened. It is so unrealistic. I found my divorce hurt just as much if not more than the loss of my parents, except the person did'nt die.

And Finally, welcome the tears when they come. For me, they came infrequently and at odd times. They were intense but felt good. I still feel sad and I am very alone. But my little cat helps alot. Take Care.

Joe