You touched on several things here that so understandably contribute to your feelings. The loss of your brother and then your birth is a huge factor.

I’ve found that attitude takes precedence to looks in attracting relationships. You need to have confidence and like people and they will mostly like you back. That’s just the first step. Then becomes compatibility that makes or breaks it.

Was this guy more than ten years younger? My mom’s friend married a man 25 years younger and they were very happy. Anything is possible.

There’s lots of teaching your partner what you like in bed. They can learn and satisfy you.

I’m sorry you have so much you are dealing with. I do understand.