I don't have gastroparesis so i'm free to diet again. I did my physical therapy and studied myself in the wall of mirrors after while i drank my water. It struck me that i am not grotesquely fat, i am just overweight. It's not gross or disgusting. It's not a catastrophe or a crisis. It's nothing to hate myself for. It's nothing to get excited about. It's just the result of careless eating and inertia. I just have to focus and diet and exercise and all will be well!
I'm not gonna count calories or get crazed with hunger this time. If i'm hungry, i'll eat but just make better choices. I have a fridge full of good options. What a feeling!
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