Yes. Now, I know why I have such empathic responses to your posts.

The child does what they need to survive. So your kaleidoscope is truly a marvelous tool that allowed you to manage an overwhelming situation for any child. I was reflecting today on my amazing capacity to dissociate and not feel painful situations. It served me well as a child. It is also hard for me to stay present and not dissociate when faced with pain. I tell T it's too much and he says it hurts but it isn't too much. Sigh.