Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight
What that means for me is that I'm now paying an additional $28 out of pocket per session than I was before. Which is pretty significant in general (I think it's around a 40% increase?) and particularly affects me when I'm going twice a week.
. . .
I emailed T Friday morning (after H talked to insurance company--wanted to make sure it wasn't an error) and explained what was going on, asking if he'd possibly reduce my fee by $25 for a few months so that I could continue going twice a week, then I could transition to once a week at the full fee.
. . .
He replied that evening, saying he was willing to reduce the fee as I'd requested, starting with our next meeting. He also said that I shouldn't feel like I have to switch to once a week before I feel mentally or emotionally ready, which implies that he's OK with me having the lower rate for longer than a few months.
. . .
However, along with being grateful, I do feel slightly awkward about this and don't know how much to talk about it today. I worry a bit that he'll resent me for paying a lower fee, particularly if I opt to come for twice a week more than a few months. I wonder, if I only see him once a particular week, like if one of us is out of town or sick, do I offer to pay his full fee that time?
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I'd summarize this interaction like this: 1) you asked a very specific question, a very straightforward one. Would he reduce his fee by $25/session until you stop doing twice/week and land at once/week?
2) He said yes. No qualifications, no exceptions, even going beyond and offering a reduction in your self-identified pressure to do this sooner rather than later. He said he would reduce his fee by $25/session for the foreseeable future until you are ready to go once/week.
I think you should feel good about asking a clear question-- straight up. And you got an even straighter answer that is VERY clear. Yes, he will reduce your fee by $25 per session until you decide to go once/week, then you will pay the increased fee per session.
So is it really helpful for you to spend your time and energy on pursuing endless variations and possibilities and trying to get him to stake out scenarios and expectations of his feelings about them (not exactly helpful in the abstract, as no one, even a therapist, really knows how they will react until the thing is in front of them)? You're not in control of how he reacts or how he will feel and how you do or don't want him to feel can't be determined or dictated by you, or even anticipated. Seems like a really fear-based approach to relationships, one that you spin out in every so often.
From my perspective, I think it might help you to just accept what he said at face value. It is very clear. Your thoughts and wonderings are just mucking up the waters. Move forward. You have your answer; it's very clear. Deal with your current life issues rather than self-created therapy dynamics, which I think will also help you get to a once/week place. Assuming that's what you want. Maybe some of this is your fear of having to cut back therapy at some unspecified point in time? If it is, it seems your T has reassured you that you won't have to do that, at least for financial reasons. I am really impressed with how he handled this.