I know its hard but maybe something my own treatment providers told me will help...

"thats progress"

the reason they said that to me was because I was actually feeling..........something...........

you see for dissociatives like me the symptoms are ....

numbness, (lack of feeling on an emotional level) Disconnected (on an emotional mental level, not noticing things like my body, my hands, my legs... )

give you an example when my child was in surgery, the doctors were saying something to me and I didnt hear him, I was sitting there watching the couple down the hall. my wife reached over and took my hand and gave it a squeeze and I didnt feel it, I had no idea that she was even doing that. She squeezed my hand so tightly that she accidentally bruised one of my fingers and I had no idea I had a hand let alone she was squeezing it.

I was dissociated, mentally I was numb so nothing physically was coming through to my consciousness. Finally my wife held an onion containing sandwhich up to my nose. instantly I was back connected again to where I could hear my wife say "the doctor said it was touch and go but she made it, they are taking her to the recovery room, we can see her in just a few minutes."

thats what being disconnected in the dissociative sense is for me. no mental or physical feelings at all, numbness.

So when I was actually at a point where I could say to them "I feel disconnected" for me that was progress.

in your post you recognized what you were feeling, (your body wasnt connected..) and you unconsciously did something about it (squirmed around)

thats progress. my suggestion continue the great work of noticing what is going on in your body. and squirm or what ever else you need to do to feel connected again...

another suggestion is maybe you and your treatment providers can make an emergency list of things for you to do when you are feeling this way...

unfortunately we cant tell you what you need to do, we can only tell you what we do for our selves when we are feeling our own dissociation symptoms...

when I feel my dissociation symptoms I ..

row my canoe around a lake, take a walk, play with my children, pet our dogs, ....

maybe you can find things that will help you to feel more grounded in your body.