I don't mean to be a pain but I insist, make your objective (what you want to accomplish) as clear as everything else...Not to be cruel or anything, but, I can see how you feel, and I can hear your facts, but I still don't have clarity in what your goal is... and If I don't ( and I am an "outsider") I have to wonder if your kids will!

Why don't you make the number one of your list the purpose of bringing this up. Here is an example:

1- I want to bring to you some facts because, I would like to be able to communicate with all of you in a positive and respectfull way. I recognized that we are a long way from a cuddling,loving, nurturing manner, but perhaps we should accomplish at least "civilized manner".

and then go on with number 2 listing your facts in what ever way you are comfortable. If you children know where you're heading with this, perhaps they will be more willing to listen, otherwise, it might just sound like "here goes mom nagging again..."

Sorry to be so blunt...Lots of love and respect to you.