Wow, lots of intense anxiety coming from that recap.I know how exhausting anxiety can be. Have you been working with the mindfulness stuff still or CBT? It might be helpful to focus more on how to manage the level of anxiety for things. I mean, as my T always said about himself "Anxiety is my forever friend" so I get it, it never goes away (sadly) but it is manageable. I also feel like you don't really trust your T yet. It's sad but I do hope you can get here and I get it, trust is hard. I have trust issues. I am just pointing out things I see. I still think it might be worth it to find a temp T or a second T to work through attachment issues and that could maybe even help the anxiety level.

That being said, I like that he gave you homework. It is good homework, since you are going tomorrow, did you find an answer? Hope so I also have to say that was an interesting dream. I usually don't read much into dreams but they can still be interesting. I hope your session is good tomorrow. Maybe take a few minutes to ask about more mindfulness ideas and other ways to help reduce anxiety levels. Good luck