Yes, these things come up when you stop drinking and they are hard to deal with. I hope you have someone that can help you work through it. Shame is a hard emotion to deal with, one of the most damaging and has no benefits. Out of the 8-12 T’s I have worked with I think I ended up driving by all but two of their houses just out of sheer curiosity. I don’t think it is that abnormal for a client to do. However, most Ts I have worked with have had one or more clients threaten them or do actual harm to them, it is more common than many of us would think. So I can see where a T could be frightened. Unfortunately her reaction really does not seem to allow space for processing even if it did still end in termination and that makes me sad. Like my T often reminds me there are always reasons for our behaviors and therapy should be a safe place to explore those reasons.
I have an exT that thinks I am stalking her because our paths often cross. She is very frightened of me because we terminated in a very painful space.. I would never harm her or her family but sadly she does not know that and no level of explaining will fix it. The fear is hers. I too wish we could sit down and talk about what happened but I know I will not be given that opportunity and it sucks.
The best I ca offer is my true hope that you have someone to process this with and other things that come up as you continue to succeed in your sobriety.