Really sick of everyone trying to push me into a job (and this happens to other people not just me). I'm just not ready (mentally) for that. This should be clear from the fact that I've been rejected from every job I've applied for in over 10 years. I know that if I started working, right now in this state, I wouldn't last long. I'd have a nervous breakdown and be fired, if I'm not fired for doing something wrong, causing an accident, or some other reason. It's pointless.

The work and health program person even did all this maths, telling me how much better off I would be at work. This was just money, well of course I'd have more money than being on jobseekers allowance, but that's not the point. I'd be mentally/emotionally worse off at this point. The jobseeker money is enough for food and bills, I hardly buy anything else. Nobody in their right mind would employ me anyway. I know I wouldn't. So I would never get any of that money!

I know I have some issues, and I'm working on them. It's just hard when I'm being sent to these stupid courses all of the time. I finally cracked my biggest problem (obsessions with things), got to the bottom of it and now I'm in the process of uprooting it. I've had that problem since around the age of 12 (I'm in my 30s now), and I've never known what keeps it going until now. Yes it has took over 20 years.

Now I know if the jobcentre had left me alone (I wouldn't expect any help from them, no way), I would have probably worked out this problem a lot sooner, might be all gone by now and might even have a job. I've actually been seriously working on it for about 4 years now, trying to figure it out. I made some progress, but not much, and slowly. And now there is still work to do on that, and then I have a lot of other smaller problems. Once these are sorted out, I'm sure I'd be far more employable (sleep deprivation will always be a problem because of the noise, but it probably wouldn't affect me that much). I used to be (employable), before I moved here and in the first 2 years before everything got so bad. Right now I know I'm not. I know that the sleep deprivation and the noise in general gets me down so much because of all this other rubbish I have going on.

Why can't they just leave me alone to fix these things? Or maybe even help with it somehow. I'm obviously not going to get a job anyway, and if I did I'd be fired within a month. All they are doing is holding me back, making it take longer, and keeping me unemployed. It's stupid. I feel like if I was left alone for a month without having to go to the jobcentre or any of these stupid courses, I'd be able to really concentrate on this, and get these problems fixed (or at least most of them). And I'm sure by the end of the month I'd be more employable, maybe ready to go into a job, but if I'm not then I'd at least be much closer. But no, all they care about it punishment for being unemployed (which only makes us less employable).

Wouldn't it make more sense to try to help people into a more employable state, give them whatever they need, instead of just forcing them to apply for as many jobs as possible and do loads of pointless work experience?