oh my god! what is my problem?
i took the depakote today, cuz i feel better.
sort of...
i dont even know if i was up or down!
but i am gonna write down the name of that med sqrl... and one day when i get the guts to see a doctor again... i will ask for it.
i dont want to go through this anymore.
... starting to feel like i am realy messed up.
the delusions and paranoia, are what really throw me off.
i remember the doctor who labeled me bipolar and prescribed depakote... asked me if i ever get paranoid... i said no. and he said, "ok, good".
now that is haunting me. why did he ask that and what could paranoid delusions indicate?
am i going through the prodromal phase of schizophremia? is that what they will think if i tell them i am delusional and paranoid during mixed episodes?