I think possibly malignant Narcissists tend to be attracted to people who tend to be “people pleasers” - either to use for a brief period and then discard ... as you said with a spectacular show of their peculiar brand of blaming labelling arrogance or even to be involved in a romantic relationship. I was engaged to a Narcissist for a while. I’m married to a lovely man who isn’t a Narcissist so I think it’s possible to break the pattern