Quote:
Originally Posted by Betty_Banana
I'm sorry you're hurting and struggling so much.I am wondering if it's ok if I ask a few questions.
How the heck did you drive yourself to the hospital after?
Why did you go to the hospital in the first place if you don't want to be safe or admitted?
I'm really not trying to sound uncaring or heartless,just trying to understand.The title of this thread is "sent home to kill myself",like you are upset about it yet you don't want anyone to help you or do anything for you.You weren't "sent" home,you discharged yourself.Were you hoping they would admit you against your will?What exactly were you wanting?
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I was able to drive myself to the local hospital as I was prepared before I did it. I had a home made pressure dressing at the ready (I am a medical professional). I did not know whether I wanted to live or die, and if I did choose to die then I didn't want to die in my house. So I drove the 5mins or so to the hospital where I then removed the dressing and sat in my car still unable to decide if I wanted to live or die . Next thing I know I'm walking into the hospital (my 'functional healthy adult' obviously winning the fight against Viktor). Please see the post below regart thoughts and feelings as I think amyjay sums it up quite well. I have a very strong part named Viktor who wants us to die and he is fed by several other parts, but I also have a part of me that wants to abide by 'sovial norms' where suicide is wrong im afraid I can't provide any more clarity as I have no idea what's happening in my head most of the time either, and cannot make sense of things.