Thanks everyone for your replies, especially the ones that seem to get it. I think it really must come down to wanting someone to care. The specialists involved in my care do tell me that they care what happens to me, but my difficulty is believing it, after all it is only words, I am unable to believe or feel what they say as being true. I can't say I'm feeling much better today, and I still don't know what will happen, all I feel just now is that I want to run away but I know that won't help as it's some of the people in my head that I want to run from.