{{{{{{{{{{Gloria}}}}}}}}}} You're absolutely right! I need to preface it all with my intent.

Your statements are not hurtfull. They are clear and direct. I prefer directness and honesty in my communications. Sometimes I need to be hit on the head with a 2X4 to catch on! LOL Any time you feel you need to be "blunt" with me, just do it! No need for apologies. I definetely like your wording for addressing the kids, too. You hit the nail right on the head. You're right that they would think I wasn't only "nagging" again, but having another emotional melt-down. The only thing I wish I could do is involve my DIL's mother. She got in on it, too, and said some unnecessary things. Her situation as a grandmother is totally different from mine. I don't know why I care, but I do. Maybe my DIL will let her read the letter... Well, just as long as my kids and I can reach an understanding. I can't ask for more.

I'm going to work on that #1 now!