I'm 48. I've always known that I was bipolar as my ex wife can tell you. But the official diagnosis only happened a year ago. After seeing multiple psychologists and psychiatrists not one diagnosed bipolar. Two years ago my wife left me, tired of the alcoholism and constant swings. At the time I was making 94k and had been for a decade. I coached little league for years I made it through college and more. But all of my colleagues were baffled by me and tried to help on some level because I was off. When my wife left my drinking went up and I found my ole pal drugs. I'd been an addict before and I jumped in. Finally friends and family confronted me. I voluntarily entered rehab which I had always wanted to do. There was medical staff to help the mental which was the main reason. I was there. Two weeks into the four week program I went manic like I've never been and was put in an ambulance to the hospital. When I got there I was delusional very delusional. They admitted my to the locked down psych ward. I got the bipolar diagnosis along with strict and specific follow up along with prescriptions for lithium and abilify. Just out of the hospital I was summarily fired from my job and without benefits couldn't afford anything more than the lithium. In the last year I've only worked four months and am currently unemployed. I'm burning through my retirement and will run out of money eventually. But instead of busting my hump to get back on my feet I'm just lost in despair and sadness. I sleep days at a time and just taking a shower seems hard. Im sorry for such a long thread but I know many of you have been in my shoes. Im trying to get benefits to address all of this but can someone give me some advice? What do I do now? Having lost it all anyway I dont care to jump back into middle class America and I just dont care. I still drink to get through the day and know it's a mistake. I've just never experienced despondency like this. Hoping for a few suggestions. Thanks.