Quote:
Originally Posted by goatee
I think part of it is that I had an ex T who used to change and cancel appointments all the time. I mean, it really was every other week. It felt like she didn’t care about therapy at all, like she was squeezing it in when it was convenient to her, amongst all of her other activities. So when I started seeing my current T and she never cancelled appointments and took missing or changing them very seriously, it felt amazing to me and meant a lot to me. I know she’s allowed to change one once. I know I’m not being fair to her. But it just really scares me that she’s going the way of my ex T now and this is the beginning of something. I think it also has to do with the fact that she and I have been having an incredibly difficult time recently and I’ve been feeling very shaky and fragile with our relationship. We just resolved things a few days ago, and then this. I’m still trying to decide whether I’ll say something or not. I don’t know...
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The showing of a commitment to the therapy is really important. Given the limited ways we and our Ts have available because of the structure of the relationship to show that, keeping a commitment to the schedule becomes really important.
With the recent occurrences of changes necessary for my T, I was able to easily go with the flow because I'm in a situation where I have the flexibility to do so. As I said previously, I have been grateful that she has made sure each time that we could reschedule right away, and I didn't have to actually miss a week. She recently apologized for the needed changes, and expressed concern that I might be feeling taken advantage of. I don't feel taken advantage of, but if her follow-up and communication, especially about how the changes might be affecting me weren't happening, I would probably feel a lot of insecurity about whether or not she was committed to our therapy.
Maybe you need to express your perceptions to your T, and whatever you feel you need as an individual to be reassured that your work is important to her/him. In my opinion, a good T should accept this and have empathy for your position.