i should be happy for you... i should feel good because you have found help. but it only brings me to tears... because i am unable to drag myself to get the help i so desperately need.
its jealousy... im so envious...
i want so bad to follow your lead. ive allowed myself to suffer, so long. it has engulfed me completely.
i want to have strength as you have shown, but my strength has been consumed by trying to fight this for so long. trying to wear this mask and to pretend has taken every ounce of strength and courage.
i am left alone, unable, and weak.
and i am so very very happy for you... because nobody should ever allow themselves to fall so deep as i have...
i can see you from down here, you are the light at the end of the tunnel.
it makes me smile and cry all at the same time, at least someone is able to pull together enough courage to reach for help.
i am too far gone.