The domination thing is very common among women. In my impression anyway. My friend and I sometimes joke, those who are dominant in day to day life are submissive in bed and vice versa. She and I are quite extroverted and confident and we both enjoy being dominated in bed. We also know some very shy men and more than one of them told us that they enjoy dominating their partner.

I did some reading. I think the term that's more accurate is a ravage fantasy rather than a rape fantasy since rape by it's nature is unwanted. Ravage fantasies are common among straight women.

As far as the other elements you mentioned...not really enjoying the dynamic unless watching as 3rd person...I imagine that is tied into your attachment style and feelings about intimacy. Though I'm no expert. Ever tried talking it over with a sex therapist? I had one friend who said it helped her a great deal and opened her eyes to a lot of her sexual issues.