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starryprince · Apr 26, 2019, 11:51 PM

Hey all. I'm not doing well at the moment at all. It's pretty bad.

Possible trigger:

I work as a peer support specialist for a hotline and I was on the phone with a woman who was getting ready to hang herself. Peers don't handle crisis situations (which is something I'm going to bring up because it's ridiculous that we are not taught how to handle calls that require 911) so I had to transfer it to a crisis counselor. I'm messaging counselors and no one is responding to me. I'm looking for a supervisor and there are none in sight. It took about 5 minutes for a counselor to respond and he took the call...only to tell me that she hung herself while he was talking to her.

This really messed me up. I tried so hard to let her know that people actually DID care about her and that she was valid. I'm furious at my job because of how it's run.

Then my apartment building is falling apart. Our apartment specifically is bad. My mom refuses to call 311 because she hates confrontation. Even though I'm an adult, I cannot call because it would cause a LOT of drama. If I was living by myself I would have called 311 multiple times. In our apartment part of the ceiling is falling off, paint is peeling, we have a mice infestation and they have dug holes everywhere, and my room had mold. Then to top it all off our neighbors play loud music to the point where my walls vibrate but when I make the slightest noise they start banging on the walls. I notice that as of late I get overstimulated very easily and I can't take it anymore.

I just walked in my room and saw a mouse dash out from somewhere and I'm sick of this.

I'm sick of living like this. I'm sick of having inconsiderate neighbors.

I'm so on edge right now that a part of me just wants to scream and throw things.

I'm not in a good place at all.

Thank you for reading.