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Old Apr 27, 2019, 08:16 AM
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aimlesshiker aimlesshiker is offline
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Member Since: May 2018
Location: US
Posts: 103
Why are you beating yourself up for this situation? I have quite a few friends in the same age range as you (I'm a bit younger) who are in a similar situation.

There's no "timeline" in which you live your life. I had the exact same mindset as you in college: if I'm not succeeding in my career and goals, then I'm a failure. My grades tanked, I got depressed, I isolated myself from everyone. But then I found what I really wanted to do, said "eff what other people think," and now I'm in a job I actually like (after many, many years of doing things I hated, just to "prove myself").

You're not a failure, but I know that it takes a lot to change that mindset. It's so ingrained in me that I still struggle with the constant question, "am I doing enough?"
You might want to look into cognitive distortions, too. You say your therapist had a certain look in her eyes, so either you have an insensitive therapist, or you might be jumping to conclusions. A real therapist would NOT judge you for the situation you're in. I've gotta go for now, but I hope you feel better!