Quote:
Originally Posted by Laure
And sorry to flood my post with after thoughts
But I personally know how bad things get in my head and there's never anyone around to talk or care about you (lots say they are there for you) but they aren't. They disappear soon as you have an issue. "Friends" aren't there when you need them. (They just say they will be there)
So because I understand that. I do take her places. Well we both try to look after each other  |
Laurie I know you want to help your friend and thats a great thing. Unfortunately sometimes friends can do more harm then good when researching mental disorders....
example... I have a friend who every single time I get diagnosed with something new she hits the books and internet and comes at me with I dont think you have such and such, they should not be giving you this or that. .... the list goes on...
finally I had to take the hard road and tell her to "frankly you need to butt out of this part of my life, you are causing me more stress and problems every time you do this. leave this part of my live up to those who are my treatment providers and just be a friend, and Im going to make a change to our friendship, in that you dont get to know what my mental and physical health problems are. why because it causes you to go nuts researching and trying to go against my treatment providers"
this friend and I are still friends but we now have this giant wall boundary that I can not talk to her about and she can not be part of my life on.
it is so hard to have that boundary wall but what my friend didnt understand is that what is found in books, movies, on the internet and in all these "abstracts and articles" is not the full listing of what the mental disorders are nor what all the symptoms are...
in 2013 america changed over to a new mental health system where not everything about mental disorders is disclosed to the public. there are some symptoms and diagnostics that are not available to anyone other than treatment providers.
Another thing my friend did not understand was that though we are friends, that did not mean I was telling her everything nor the 100 percent truth about my mental disorders. America has privacy laws which means my friends and family have no rights to knowing everything about my mental and physical health problems. The only way they have the right to know whats actually going on in my life in regards to my mental and physical health is 1. if I choose to tell them and what and how much I choose to tell them, and 2 if a court appoints a guardian to make my health decisions.
most of my friends understood that just because they are my friends it doesnt give them the right to butt in to this part of my life, but this friend I had no choice but to say if you cant keep yourself out of this part of my life I will do that for you.
my point is... no matter if your friend has 2 or 50 diagnoses and no matter if ifs 1 doctor or 50 making these diagnoses and whether she is not on meds or on 1000 meds, you cant do this for her. you can risk losing her friendship just by following her mental and physical health and researching and the this isnt right attitudes. I know Im there.
my suggestion is to just go back to being a friend and not to worry so much about your friends mental disorders and whether they have this or that, and whether their treatment providers are treating them them for the wrong problems. leave that part of your friends life up to your friends and her treatment providers. otherwise your friend may have to do this for you by not telling you the truth, fabricating answers when you ask, and holding you out of this part of her life, or she could say you know what Im done with this.
right now you have a friendship that may be worth keeping. I strongly suggest leaving the health issues out and just hang out, do things together like normal friends do.